Dream Within a Dream

Pretty picture

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:37:36 GMT

Wanna figure out how I can make this into a layout. *ponders*

(And I know I've said it before, but Shadowscapes allows free usage of the displayed art for non-profit websites, not something you usually get from artists. So yeah.)

Edit: - using edits because I've spammed the f-list enough for the day

The Pairing Meme!

"One True Pairing" Ship:
Shishido/Ohto...no wait Atobe/Te...actually Tezuka/...Uh, Zack/Clou...Suzaku/Lelou...um...

Akimaru/Haruna. Yes, Akimaru tops.

"One True Threesome" Ship:
Does foursome count? No? Fine. Fuuma/Kotori/Kamui. Yeah, Kamui gets topped by a girl.

"Canon" Ship:
Fuuma/Kotori/Kamui
Seishirou/Subaru
Syaoran/Sakura
Doumeki/Watanuki
Mulder/Scully

"Not quite canon but should be" ship:
Zack/Cloud (you know it)
Tezuka/Atobe (arguably canon, if one-sided)
Tezuka/Shiraishi
Tezuka/Fuji (seeing a pattern?)
Tamaki/Kyouya
Abe/Mihashi
Suzaku/Lelouch (if you're willing to die for someone...)

"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship:
Yuuko/Watanuki (and the scary thing is CLAMP just might do it)

"LMAO" Ship:
Sanada/cap
Oshitari/eye glasses

"You are one sick b****" ship:
Eh, people get to ship whoever they want, no matter how weird

"I'm one sick b****" ship:
Chip/Dale (they share a bed, okay?!)
Brain/Pinky

"I dabble a little" Ship:
Too many to count, or too little to really list...

"It's like a car crash" Ship:
In the "I'm one sick b****" territory

"Tickles my fancy but not sold quite yet" Ship:
Sephiroth/Zack
Angeal/Zack

"Makes no canon sense but why the hell not" Ship:
Ukitake/Byakuya
Grimmjow/Byakuya

"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship:
Sephiroth/Cloud (it's just...Cloud's entire knowledge of Sephiroth is basically "he's a war hero, OMFGBBQ he just burned my entire hometown and is trying to destroy the world as we know it WTF?!")
Leon(Squall)/Cloud (not much into KH, but still)
Haruna/Abe (I know why it's shipped, I just...don't feel it)

"When all is said and done" Ship:
Cloud/Tifa (I'm interpreting that this is the ship that wins canonically?)

"Guilty Pleasure" ship:
I am not ashamed of my porn.

"I can't believe I read it and liked it" ship:
Angeal/Zack
Sephiroth/Zack/Cloud

"Favorite Older/Younger" ship:
McClane/Farrell (most extreme case)
Batman/Robin
Zack/Cloud (barely)
Ukitake/Byakuya
Seishirou/Subaru
Lex/Clark
...and on and on and on

"My first I could never abandon you" ship:
Mulder/Scully

"Devotion" Ship:
Atobe/Tezuka (the one that I wrote most fanfic for)
Zack/Cloud (the most devoted in-character, even after death)

"Nevermet" Ship:
Grimmjow/Byakuya
Cloud/Suzaku (otherwise known as "my friend died protecting me from the world"/"I killed my friend to protect the world from him" ship ... yeah, that's enough fucked up to give the cast of X a run for its money)

"Pervy" Ship:
Wataru/Tora-oh (because they're prepubescent, WTF self?)

"Dominance battle" Ship:
Tezuka/Atobe (duh)
Grimmjow/Byakuya (ditto)
Shito/Chika

Cashew's quick and dirty slash fic biology lesson

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:48:41 GMT

Badly written porn makes Cashew cringe. Somethings to keep in mind:

1. If a dick is "painfully digging into [your] prostate", it's not going to be pleasurable. It also means you should go to the doctors' and get things checked out, because prostate stimulation shouldn't hurt (in general). And if you're trying for sadomasochism, fluffy is not the way to go about this.

2. Saliva is plenty enough lubrication to get one finger into the rimming action without damage to your partner, honest.

3. If your character is in a position where he's facing the bed with his ass up and getting the hell rimmed out of him by his lover, most likely the precome isn't going to be dripping down his cock toward his balls. Just...gravity people. Dribble some lube on your finger and position it around a bit and see where the liquid flows. (Obviously, if you're in zero-gravity, this dribbling issue is less of a dribbling and more of a stochastic flow, but since no one writes zero-gravity sex...)

You know, in general, it might be good for smut writers to have some dolls for whatever position they're trying to write, so they can keep the gravitational force clear, instead of this attempt at cut&pasting porn from other people. This is especially helpful for those who seem to have spatial visualization problems.

4. You cannot have "brows of sunshine". Actually, try avoiding metaphors as much as you can in a smut fic; all they do is serve to detract from the hotness.

5. The end of the spine is the tailbone a.k.a. coccyx, which is tucked away happily under enough fat to prevent damage when sitting on it. If your character is biting on it, I don't want to know about it. Also, gory much? (Try sitting back, feel the pressure between the upper end of the buttcheeks? That pressure's being supported by the coccyx, which is inside your body. Your lover should not be biting it during pleasurable sex.)

6. "No offense" in the middle of a smut fic is not right. Even more so when you were just talking about how your character has mastered all types of foreplay. Because seriously, no one's taking offense, the phrase is just...wut?

7. "That part of his body" is not particularly specific or helpful. If you can't even bring yourself to name the body part in question, don't write smut about it.

Yeah, I know, not all of these are biological fuck ups, but sometimes the bad porn just needs to go away. Gyah.

giggle

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:24:34 GMT

Buzzwords

The best part? Carbon and climate totally follow climatic trends.

Yes, I'm a nerd. >∇<

Kinda miss the 90s

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:53:37 GMT

I totally know this is the nostalgia talking, but man I miss the 90s CPop. They actually had some content, with lyrics that meant something other than random propaganda or things that don't make sense.

Hey, there's a reason they're considered classic nowadays. :p

And...I should totally be working, right.

*slinks away*

Blah

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:10:43 GMT

I should be frantically reading papers. Instead I procrastinate and re-rendered the layout so it will enforce a minimum width for browsers less than 1024 pixels wide. (Who uses 800x600 resolutions anymore these days?)

One of these days, I'm going to have to grab a screencap of the layout on a 1920px width screen to give people a better idea of the layout I had in mind. :p

I fail at life forever

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:50:44 GMT

Glah, not feeling much better today. Still didn't get work done. Stress and lack of motivation plus feeling crappy does not productive Cashews make.

I need happy pills. >.>

16 hours and one fucked up dream later

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 23:52:07 GMT

*sigh*

Didn't make it into lab. Fell asleep after lunch and didn't wake up until 6:00pm. An almost entire day spent sleeping.

On one hand, feeling at least no longer like my head's been stuffed with cotton. On the other hand, even more behind than usual.

Oh, and my muscles have started hurting like nobody's business. Geh.

And then there's the dream. Good fucking beautiful sleep, the fucking dream.

The first thing that freaks me out a little is that I've had this dream before. And no, it's not deja vu, because I remember exactly at which part of this dream I woke up from before finishing it and always wondered how it would have ended. Apparently, I got to see the end today and confirmed that my psyche is a fucked up place to be.

The dream itself starts off fairly innocuous enough. I'm back in a nondescript town that looks a bit like a combination of my memories of China in the early 90's and the Bay Area during my college years. My old labmates were dragging me off to do some beach things and we started shopping for swimsuits, all very normal stuff. There's a little bit of banter going around, things like one piece swimsuits vs. bikinis and everyone telling me I make no sense, but that's to be expected.

Then...it gets weird. Rain puts a stop to the beach idea, but since I didn't want to waste a perfectly good swimsuit, I figure I'll hop into the local pool instead, which somehow time warps me back to China of all places (remember how I mentioned I was in a world that was an amalgamation of China and the Bay Area, yeah) and there's this middle aged lady swim coach who's harping at me. Thing is, she's obviously retired and just babysitting me for whatever reason. Instead of thinking this weird or questioning how I know the employment history of someone who I've never seen in my life, I follow around and go to the swimming pool as I had originally planned.

Swimming happens. The only odd thing is that I swim far faster than I would have in real life and I know that I'm out performing what I'm used to, but instead of freaking me out, I just go with it. I'm also the only person at the pool, but this doesn't particularly scare me either, even if I would be completely paranoid about something like this had I been awake.

And then a nondescript guy shows up and somehow we knew not to get in each other's way when we're swimming. More laps and his coach shows up, the only reason I know being that the coach was asking me for demonstrations. This is when the mindfuck starts.

I start zooming in and out of my own body, which isn't my body. One minute I'd be doing something the coach wanted, feeling the splash of water and seeing my target (all nearsighted and blurry), feeling my hand slap against the wall as I turned to double back in the lap and the next moment, I'm hovering, incorporeal, and listening in on the coaches yapping about western vs. eastern swimming techniques, and there to the side is this girl who I've never seen before in my entire life. And oddly enough, this still doesn't strike me as weird, at least not when I was sleeping.

Once the coach finished with the demonstrations, I'm told to go amuse myself, so I do and the dude who's been pretty good about using the other side of the pool has stopped his practice and was goofing off. And then this crazy little detail happens:

I'm squatting at the edge of the diving pool, just prepping myself to dive in and play, when I see the guy, just there, and then he gives me this look, which I somehow just know is a challenge of some sort (you'd think all this telepathy should be a big clue I'm dreaming, but in China, you're actually expected to be able to read body language well) and he dives into the pool, enters the water perfectly, like he's daring me to do it. So, being hugely competitive, I do it.

So I sink and sink and sink until I hit the pool's bottom, touch the ground as I twist in the water and swim over to the guy and get my hands around his head while upside-down and somehow float up to the surface right side up, all the while not actually making contact with him. Did I mention I'm now back in my body for all this? Yeah.

Then the guy's coach start telling him to stop messing around and get back to practice and he asks (finally speaking instead of being mute) if I want to challenge him. I'm kind of confused and spaced out and worried about all this, but coach says to go ahead and do it, it'll be a good practice, so I do it.

So I'm swimming again, swim, swim swim. I can tell you that this is the exact moment that I woke up the last time I had this dream, but this time I'm still asleep so things...get weird...er.

I'm out of my body, which isn't my body, and hovering next to the coaches, watching the two people in the pool swimming back and forth and I'm suddenly seeing things from "Coach Vision" because I'm getting overload of eureka moments when the coaches basically figure out that the body I was in is doing something weird with her swimming pattern. There's a gap during even laps and a lot of swimming mumble jumbo that I don't know what it means other than "fuck, this is not good, not good!"

Suddenly the coaches are running, like they know something horrible is happening, the guy challenging not!me was nowhere to be seen and I'm slammed back into the body and wondering why the coaches were so frazzled, only gunshot. One falls down. I'm screaming (my throat is actually hurting, so maybe I screamed out loud in real life, I don't know) and there's another gunshot and there goes my coach. Somehow I know I'm in trouble, so I haul ass out of the pool, the window shatter and I'm back outside of the body I was inhabiting.

One secret agent/police dude catches up, grabs the girl, things fade to black. Then vision restored, I'm now watching the girl, who had clearly grown up at this point, following a little old lady, who was the previously shot coach only...obviously not, because she's clearly someone in disguise (don't ask me how I know this, I just did and this dream doesn't make sense anyway). They're talking and the girl is all nonchalant, like she hadn't seen her coach gunned down in front of her.

And here's where the dream goes from weird to surreal.

The not!coach was shifting, like something's bothering her, so she reaches back and pulls a box out of her clothing, looks at it with this expression of "WTF is this?", shrugs, places the box on top of another one, and leans onto it. The girl just sort of stands there a moment watching all this happen, then comes over and doesn't really do anything while the not!coach tips back, frozen dead, and stuff pours over her and covers up her corpse. The girl turns, looks at her, clearly expecting this to happen, sighs, and looks back up and out the window at the stars.

Dream ends.

And I wake up with the feeling like I just witnessed a premeditated murder. Seriously fucking disturbed. Took me a moment to remind myself it's all just a dream, but I really wish I'd stop having these death dream things. Waking up scared and worried for my life is not restful. Geh.

Cannot summon up enough angry, but just...ugh

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:06:35 GMT

I hate that the Zack/Cloud fandom is tiny. Well, not tiny in the sense that there aren't writers, but tiny in the sense that there aren't enough decent writers to go around.

Because it's getting pretty annoying (and sad) when I'm randomly clicking FF links in the vain hope it's something readable. If the story isn't horribly OOC, then it runs the pretentious purple prose.

So, here's a few tips to remember for the writers who think they're all that:

1. Your first person narrative, it sucks. Live with it. If I see one more "I think therefore I am", I'm...I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty.

2. You fail to understand Zack. You just fail. I understand the man's under duress in your story, but that's no excuse for him being completely fucking depressing for eighty some odd chapters at this point. Cheer the fuck up emo writer.

3. Less attempts to build new worlds, more attempts to work with what you've got.

3-1. In fact, stop trying to add mythology while you're at it. This mystical shit doesn't do anything for your story.

4. Game play and story integration, you fail at it. Enough of your super-speshul whatever shit thing. Just work with what you've got and focus more on the characters, less on trying to explain how materia works, kthxbai.

5. Pick a personality for Cloud and stick with it please. Since Zack is alive, there's no good reason for Cloud to act like he has multiple personality disorder. If Zack's alive, Cloud doesn't go batshit insane, okay? This should not be hard to figure out, dammit.

Well, this does motivate me to try to write something more for Nano, but my brain's too numb and I'm too behind in work to really think past "must slice brains, must slice brains". Fucking...just...gah.

ROFL

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:24:13 GMT

So, Tezuka and Sanada's granddads are shogi buddies!

I can't...breathe.

Oh god, owowowowowowowowowow.

Well, good to see that there's still some crack left in Konomi. On the other hand, this totally explains the Tezuka-Sanada duets that's been out.

Ugh, been a while with the health thingy

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:03:57 GMT

Sluggish is an understatement for what I'm going through. My brain isn't working, I know I need to get a lot of things done, but I just...can't move very well. Even typing has been a trial.

I'm also suffering water retention, so I'm like...fat. And by fat, I mean I'm carry a bunch of water under the skin that's making me bloated and bloodless looking. My fingers have a difficult time making fists and when I bump into something, the skin just sort of sinks in, like an over bloated corpse.

TMI, sorry.

In short, ew, I feel like a walking corpse. *is so, so tired*

New Layout at pistachio

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:16:03 GMT

Put up a new Zombie Loan themed layout at pistachio. Enjoy?

*flails and dies*

(Why am I doing this? I know I should be studying, but I keep putting things off. T^T)

Edit:
After too many hours, Cashew has finally built up a Master List of all of her fanfic. It is daunting, but it has been done!

I don't know why I did it. =.=

Master Fanfic List of DooooooooooM

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:02:59 GMT

What it says in the title. Yeah.

The Key:
WIP = work in progress (if very slowly)
On Hiatus = abandoned forever
Incomplete = self explanatory
Complete = self explanatory

Index:

Prince of Tennis
Bleach
Ouran High School Host Club
Everything Else

Prince of Tennis

Series

Psychic Daigakuen Alternate Universe Series
Link to index

Pairings: Many and multiple

Rating: Various

Summary: Alternate Universe story wherein PoT kids have superpowers (of uselessness) and attend a university for the gifted (and doomed).

Status: On Hiatus, Incomplete

Engagement
Link to index

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe has a brilliant scheme to help Tezuka out of his unwanted engagement.

Status: Complete

Prince Cafe
Link to index

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Seigaku decides to open a cafe for training purposes. Inspired by the shining clear cards 3 series.

Status: Complete

A Day in the Life of...
Part 1

Pairings: Tezuka/Atobe, Taki/Momo, Shishido/Ohtori, Oshitari/Mukahi

Rating: PG

Summary: Shameless rip-off of the Secrete Diaries series.

Status: On Hiatus, Incomplete

Meet the Parents
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pairings: Shishido/Ohtori in parts 1 and 2, Tezuka/Atobe in part 3

Rating: G

Summary: What it says in the title.

Status: On Hiatus, Incomplete

A Resolution Seldom Framed

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairings: Tezuka/Atobe

Rating: G

Summary: The road to happiness is not without thorns. Or thorny roses.

Status: On Hiatus, Incomplete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Pairing: Tezuka/Atobe

Their love is so purple a.k.a. the ultimate answer to why Atobe never tops a.k.a. the disaster never was a.k.a. just because you love someone doesn't mean the sex is good a.k.a. an Atobe that only Tezuka could love
Link to fic

Rating: R

Summary: Seme!Atobe, Uke!Tezuka, barebacking, bad!sex

Status: Complete

20 Fucks to Romance
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Atobe's guide to courtship: Fuck until you fall in love.

Status: Complete

I Will Give You The World
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe has an unfortunate tendency to be literal in his interpretations.

Status: Complete

Headdesk
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: What Tezuka was thinking during Seigaku's first game in the nationals.

Status: Complete

Untitled Incubus!Atobe
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Atobe's an incubus. Tezuka wishes he was a little more restrained.

Status: Complete

Untitled continuation of Incubus!Atobe
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Vague attempt at plot regarding carpets but mostly Atobe trying to talk Tezuka into sex. Not that Tezuka needs convincing.

Status: Complete

15 Ways to Eat Yakiniku
Link to fic

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Because TEZUKA AND ATOBE ARE SO DOING IT.

Status: Complete

Cold
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe is cold.

Status: Complete

Hurry Christmas
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe wants to know what his Christmas present is. Tezuka refuses to tell him.

Status: Complete

Hurry Christmas - Past
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Sequel to Hurry Christmas. So...what did Tezuka get Atobe?

Status: Complete

Aishiteru
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Hyoutei helps Atobe to win Tezuka's heart. Only not, because they end up bickering instead. Atobe perseveres in the end.

Status: Complete

Roses
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe fumes at his less than successful attempts at wooing females. Tezuka is amused.

Status: Complete

Meeting
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Yukimura has a brilliant idea to help the teams increase in their efficiency. It all ends with a handjob.

Status: Complete

Atobe Rangers
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Fluff.

Status: Complete

Summer Shower
Link to fic

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Buchou-tachi shower fic.

Status: Complete

Ever More
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: How the S1 game should have ended. AKA Eff you too, Konomi.

Status: Complete

Dark of the Night
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Phonesex.

Status: Complete

Odds and Ends
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Nothing says "I love you" better than not saying it at all. General fluff.

Status: Complete

Xocalatl
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Vday. Chocolate. Atobe.

Status: Complete

Rain Rain Go Away
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe plans a romantic anniversary.

Status: Complete

Starbucks
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Starbucks.

Status: Complete

Musical Appreciation - aka Bugi Ugi
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: If the Hyotei and Seigaku kids watched HyouteiMyu...

Status: Complete

Fishing

Rating: PG

Summary: Tezuka goes fishing with Atobe.

Status: Complete

After Shock
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe hears of Tezuka's Kyuushuu adventures. He is not pleased. Takes place directly after the Higa game.

Status: Complete

Looking Glass (also known as passive aggressive Tezuka is not a myth)
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: It's not every day Atobe gets to be the sane one.

Status: Complete

Punch Drunk Love
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Like the movie. But not.

Status: Complete

Untitled
Link to fic

Rating: PG

Summary: In the halls late at night during Junior Senbatsu training camp.

Status: Complete

Untitled
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Atobe decides to re-dub Ai no Kusabi. As usual, Tezuka gets dragged into it.

Status: Complete

Untitled
Link to fic

Rating: PG

Summary: It’s just one of those things that happened when one wasn’t looking and then the world falls apart.

Status: Complete

Untitled New Year's fic
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Tezuka's New Year sucks.

Status: Complete

Untitled Pr0n
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: "Hm, Zuka and 'Be are so totally snarky and bitchy at each other during sex, you just know they'll be working against each other even when they should be working together because they like to mess with each other and dude, they're Tezuka and Atobe and do they really need a reason to fuck with each other?"

The answer to that would be no, no they don't.

Status: Complete

Untitled Birthday Porn - Tezuka
Link to fic

Rating: R

Summary: Tezuka gets a birthday present from Atobe, only he ends up giving it instead. No, really.

Status: Complete

Untitled Birthday Fic - Atobe
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Tezuka gets Atobe a present. Creative singing involved, but is not part of the present.

Status: Complete

Untitled Birthday Fic - Atobe
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: It's Atobe's birthday and it seems that all those years of being ordered of this and that, his team has finally developed some sort of immunity to Atobe's demands.

Status: Complete

Untitled Antiangst fic
Link to fic

Rating: PG

Summary: Atobe's getting married. He's not sure why everyone's so concerned about minor details.

Status: Complete

Untitled Antiangst fic
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe should not be allowed to have a cell phone.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Pairing: Shishido/Ohtori

Hair
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Ohtori is fascinated by Shishido's hair.

Status: Complete

Midsummer's Night
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe has a sleep over. Oshitari picks the movies. Shishido gets drunk.

Status: Complete

Sun, Moon, Stars
Link to fic

Rating: PG

Summary: Shishido needs to get Ohtori a birthday present. Atobe helps. Featuring brickhead!Shishido, richer-than-thou!Atobe, and buchou-in-training!Ohtori.

Status: Complete

Puppy Love
Link to fic

Rating: PG

Summary: Mukahi gives Ohtori the proverbial boot to the ass and Ohtori makes a move...kind of...maybe.

Status: Complete

Untitled Antiangst fic
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Fluff and food.

Status: Complete

Untitled Vampire!Shishido
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Longhaired!Vampire!Shishido. Sortofdense!Ohtori. Sex. PWP. AU.

Status: Complete

Untitled Birthday fic - Shishido
Link to fic

Rating: PG

Summary: Ohtori gets Shishido a present.

Status: Complete

Untitled Random fic
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Doubles partners are not happy with the new all star training camp methods.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Miscellaneous

Bad Hair Day
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Atobe has a bad hair day.

Status: Complete

Rabbit-Ear Mask
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Tezuka is Rabbit-Ear Mask.

Status: Complete

Pillar of Seigaku
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Takes place after Genius 305.

Status: Complete

Discord
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Takes place immediately after the Seigaku-Hyoutei Kantou games. Atobe is pissy and Tezuka emotes. They attempt meta therapy.

Status: Complete

Musical Gauntlet
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: So, tenipuri kids sing. No, really, they seriously *sing*. Oh and it's nationals. But mostly? It's just about the crazy singing.

Status: Complete

20 Facts Meme - Atobe
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: 20 facts about Atobe.

Status: Complete

Echizen the Vampire Slayer
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: Seigaku regulars find themselves turned into vampires by Inui Juice. Only not.

Status: Complete

Epilogue to a Beginning
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Summary: There's only one coach who could ever think dumping 250 balls on his team is a good idea.

Status: Complete

Puppy Dog Tails
Link to fic

Pairings: Atobe/Shishido

Rating: G

Summary: Wee!Atobe and Wee!Shishido have a Wee!Relationship involving Wee!Angst. In the rain.

Status: Complete

Untitled Antiangst fic
Link to fic

Pairings: Atobe/Shishido

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Atobe picks up Shishido at a nightclub over billiards. AU.

Status: Complete

Inui's Potion Number 9
Link to fic

Pairings: Tezuka/Fuji

Rating: G

Summary: Fuji doesn't react well to Inui's new juice.

Status: Complete

Sweet Like Wasabi
Link to fic

Pairings: Tezuka/Fuji, Yamato/Tezuka

Rating: G

Summary: It's White Day.

Status: Complete

Friendly Perfume
Link to fic

Pairings: Tezuka/Tomoka

Rating: G

Summary: Tezuka. Tomoka. Coffee.

Status: Complete

Valentine's 14
Link to fic

Pairings: Tezuka/Atobe, Shishido/Ohtori, Tezuka/Shiraishi, Oishi/Eiji, Oshitari/Gakuto, Yagyuu/Niou, An/Kamio

Rating: G

Summary: 14 drabbles for 14 different pairings. Includes other fandoms.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Bleach

Series

20loves Challenge
Link to index

Pairings: Ukitake/Byakuya

Rating: G

Summary: Series of drabbles to fit the 20loves challenge @ LJ.

Status: WIP, Incomplete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Pairing: Ukitake/Byakuya

Mine
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Small insight to Child!Byakuya.

Status: Complete

Babysitter's Club
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Ukitake, Shunsui, Yoruichi, and Urahara babysit Byakuya. It doesn't work out like it's supposed to.

Status: Complete

White
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Ukitake will use any excuse to pile food onto his favorite shinigami.

Status: Complete

Untitled Drabble
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Onsen. Chibi!Byakuya. Protective!Ukitake. Yoruichi shows herself.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Miscellaneous

Untitled Drabble
Link to fic

Rating: G

Pairings: Grimmjow/Byakuya

Summary: I'm convinced Grimmjow was a feline of some sort that got picked up by chibi!Byakuya, except one day Byakuya had to abandon his pet for more serious things and then Grimmjow died and became a hollow. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Ouran High School Host Club

Series

20loves Challenge
Link to index

Pairings: Kyouya/Tamaki

Rating: G

Summary: Series of drabbles to fit the 20loves challenge @ LJ.

Status: WIP, Incomplete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Pairing: Kyouya/Tamaki

Beginning, Middle, End
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Nothing more than a fleeting moment, tied by circumstances, bound by love.

Status: Complete

Ourboros
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: Sort of sequel to Beginning, Middle, End. Even the most perceptive are obtuse to oneself.

Status: Complete

A Rose by Any Other Name
Link to fic

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Kink, kink, kink, sex, kink, sex, kink. Yup, that about sums it up.

Status: Complete

A Plan for the Future
Link to fic

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Ootori and Suou argue who gets to have Haruhi as a daughter-in-law and unknowingly drives an eavesdropping Tamaki up a wall. Metaphorically.

Status: Complete

All Loved, Loved Alone
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: All that Kyouya loved, he loved alone.

Status: Complete

Valentine's 14
Link to fic

Pairings: Kyouya/Tamaki

Rating: G

Summary: 14 drabbles for 14 different pairings. Includes other fandoms.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Stand Alone - Miscellaneous

PMS
Link to fic

Rating: G

Summary: It's that time of month again...

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Everything Else

Card Captor Sakura

Of Mice and...
Link to fic

Pairings: Syaoran/Sakura

Rating: G

Summary: "Technically Watanuki is working off Syaoran's debt to time, space, and fate itself. Syaoran is never to be trusted with a credit card." - A Troper @ http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitletanigjtzzgkp?from=Main.XXXHolic

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Code Geass and Code Geass R2

Don't Forget the Kitchen Lights
Link to fic

Pairings: Suzaku/Lelouch

Rating: G

Summary: When you leave the house, don't forget the kitchen lights.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Die Hard

Time's Spoils
Part 1 | Part 2

Pairings: John/Matt

Rating: PG

Summary: Hero, villain, young, old. We're all just searching for a little bit of happiness to call our own.

Status: On Hiatus, Incomplete

Return to Index

Eyeshield 21

Valentine's 14
Link to fic

Pairings: Shin/Sakuraba

Rating: G

Summary: 14 drabbles for 14 different pairings. Includes other fandoms.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Future GPX Cyber Formula

Life
Link to fic

Pairings: Minor Hayato/Asuka, Heinel/Gudhelian

Rating: PG

Summary: Randoll hosts a three-legged race. Well...it's Randoll. Takes place between SAGA and SIN.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Ookiku Furikabutte

Valentine's 14
Link to fic

Pairings: Abe/Mihashi, Hanai/Tajima, Haruna/Akimaru

Rating: G

Summary: 14 drabbles for 14 different pairings. Includes other fandoms.

Status: Complete

All That We Seem
Link to fic

Pairings: Haruna/Mihashi

Rating: G

Summary: Akimaru’s loud pleas for “Haruna, please, please, please don’t cause an international incident” still rang in his ears. Requested by iphridian.

Status: Complete

Like Candy From a Baby
Link to fic

Pairings: Akimaru/Haruna

Rating: G

Summary: What it says in the title.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Weiss Kreuz

Mundane - Fiscal Meeting
Link to fic

Pairings: None

Summary: They were professional assassins who could eliminate influnetial politicians in weeks, but they couldn't seem to keep a simple flower shop out of the red.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

Zombie Loan

Valentine's 14
Link to fic

Pairings: Shito/Chika, Shiba/Chika

Rating: G

Summary: 14 drabbles for 14 different pairings. Includes other fandoms.

Status: Complete

Return to Index

sigh

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:24:43 GMT

The problem with small fandoms is that once the series stops, so do the fics.

Just...gnrrrr.

On the other hand, that's what big fandoms are for, I guess.

Oh and yeah, Cashew should be filling out forms and basically freaking out, but she's fic hopping and trying to do kink memes for karma points, only she sucks at this stuff.

Is anyone willing to beta?

More yappage

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:18:10 GMT

I'm seriously amazed at the amount of people who do not seem to understand the point of the DMW system in Crisis Core. I mean, I haven't even played the game and just reading the rants about DMW had given me a pretty good idea why it was included.

DMW, or the Digital Mind Wave, is basically a spinning wheel of half chance, half hidden experience driven battle system that varies with Zack's emotional state. But that's not the important part.

The important part is that every review which hated or despised or held the DMW against Crisis Core did it for one reason and one reason only: it took the control of some of the most powerful power ups from the player, thus rendering strategies to creatively use well timed Limit Breaks useless. In short, it hurt optimization for those power players.

And...I'm amazed that people didn't see that what they thought was a short coming of this system is precisely why it was in the game at all. When one takes a closer look at the story of Crisis Core, one realizes just how little control Zack has over the events that he becomes embroiled in. He can't save his mentor, he can't disobey orders from Shinra, and he can't even get a straight answer out of most people with whom he interacts. When it came down to the wire, he couldn't even save himself. And seeing as the DMW is intricately connected to Zack's emotional state, is it any wonder that the system is explicitly designed to deny the player access and control?

Maybe some gamers, with their super fast twitch reflexes, might find the pauses in gaming by the DMW during a matching spin annoying, but for those of us with slow reflexes and inability to multitask, this is probably the only way to catch our attention that something is happening. But then again, no one reviews games for the casual gamers.

Finally, whatever you may call Crisis Core, it is still very much an RPG at heart, which means it involves not only character building, but character customization and emotional immersion. One way to ensure that we the players experience Zack's frustration and helplessness was the DMW, and considering the amount of people cursing at how little control they have over the gameplay, I would say it did a damn fine job at what it was supposed to do.

Maybe it wasn't a good gameplay mechanic, but it sure as fuck was a good story telling one.

Edit:
And to those proponents that say gameplay should be the only reason to play a game? RPGs are not for you, stop coming into them to bitch. If anything, in an RPG the gameplay is the least important aspect, with story, character, immersion, production value all trumping the gameplay. If you want gameplay for gameplay sake, then go play a sweet round of chess.

Edit2:
IGN described Zack and Aerith's relationship as platonic. My brain just broke. o.O

7.6k words and no porn

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:04:43 GMT

Cashew is getting desperate. This plot stuff is hurting Cashew's brain. Especially since she's trying to build a stupid time travel paradox and physics is pretty much kicking her ass.

This, people, is why Cashew is a biopsychologist. ;_;

Just...glah

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 23:20:32 GMT

I don't think I've recovered yet from two days of 2 hour road trips and trying to focus on molecular methodology and trying to adapt methodology to fit my research needs and mostly? Just coming off of the thyroid high and feeling like generic crap all the time. Good god, slept over 12 hours and I still don't feel rested, something is seriously wrong.

Anyway.

Clack.

*points up*

That is not a pairing name. That is a noise, onomatopoeia, whatever. That is not a pairing name, dammit.

Not that I have a good portmanteau for a pairing wherein both partners have one syllable names, but still no. Just no.

ZackCloud seem to work for the rest of fandom, so maybe we can stick to the simple stuff?

giggle

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:27:00 GMT

Okay, caught up with newest Tenipuri OVA "Another Story 2". Just...*giggles*

First, Tezuka/Shiraishi is so OTP:

Next, Tezuka looks like a girl... o.O:
(A future in modeling? Oh yes.)

Finally, woah, chibi!Zuka's eyes quadrupled in size!

o.O

Adorable, yes, but WTF?! I do not remember his eyes being this huge.

(For reference, chibi!Zuka from TV series:
What happened?!)

Also, Rikkai stories have made me love Niou and his prankster ways. Niou's crazy. XD

Dropped in to check PoT progress

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:53:06 GMT

Cheap, Konomi, just cheap.

On the other hand, MomoKai is apparently canon. Along with InuKai. And pretty much Kaidoh with everyone. Oh god, Kaidoh's the fandom bicycle. *facepalms*

Just...*flails*

@_@

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:54:58 GMT

Too tired, can't write, can't think, can't anything. @_@

WTF self?

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 01:48:05 GMT

According to wordle, my current NaNo project's word cloud looks like:

The pairing is Zack/Cloud.

*cries*

Why is this happening?!

I effing swear

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:14:24 GMT

Some people are fucking suicidal.

Dude, can you not take your evening run during fucking rush hour? Or better yet, move the evening run in the morning! And if you must run at night, how about wearing something that isn't black?!

Grar!

What is wrong with people these days?

Edit:

4008 / 50000 words. 8% done!
About 2.6k words behind. Glah.

Some more blatherings

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:29:51 GMT

The thing with an on-going fandom, especially with canon that comes out slowly is that sometimes people just can't wait for the full story. And when that happens, people start growing attached to the characters before they know everything that's happened, start building elaborate back stories for these characters that they don't really actually know will be revealed some decades down the line and then BAM!

Canon disagrees.

Things can get pretty hard to swallow.

I know, for this is one of the reasons why Tezuka/Atobe pairing has been my OTP yet I feel less and less desire to write for it. Canon just fucks with my perception of these characters too much.

But this isn't about Tenipuri. No, this is yet another FFVII rambling.

I think it's fair to say that it's hard to truly grasp the characterization of characters whom you didn't create. While the story usually gives a good chunk of background, it's never the whole story. And trying to piece together the whole story when not given all the facts is down right difficult, impossible even when the author deliberately keeps things vague. In some ways, FFVII suffers this, especially Zack (oh Zack!).

First, I need to re-emphasize the importance Zack holds in the FFVII story. Advent Children Complete ends the movie with Cloud still thinking about Zack. That's pretty damn powerful right there. In fact, he thinks about him so much that he's brought back the flowers growing at the site of Zack's death so that he can be part of the "nakama" group. Sure, the rest of the FFVII gang might not know Zack or only barely know of him, but for Cloud, Zack was/is important and FFVII is Cloud's story.

Now, admittedly, before Crisis Core there isn't a lot of information on Zack. We know that he's important to Cloud, that his behavior was something Cloud tried to emulate, and that he was what gave Cloud the strength to continue on ("Live. You are the proof that I existed." T^T) Hell, before Crisis Core, the best we got was knowing that Cloud took his buster sword from Zack and we didn't even know how important the Buster Sword really was!

But therein lies the advantage of coming into a fandom late. Not having gotten into the FFVII franchise until after the release of almost all of canon material (although apparently there's still more in the works), I don't have any pet theories to cling to. I call them as I see them and try to make my interpretation of the characters fit with all materials presented. Unfortunately for the older fans, after 10 years of liking a certain character, that character has mutated into something no longer resembling canon and when canon shows something that was not as how the older fans imagined, they decry retcon.

Yes fandom, I'm bitching at you.

Let's take another look at Zack.

The original game gives barely any actual information on Zack. We know his first name (his last name is unknown until Crisis Core), we know he saved Cloud's ass, we know he does squats when cooped up during travel and we known that much of Cloud's early behavior came from Zack. We also know that Zack was almost not affected by the mako and Jenova treatments while Cloud was heavily poisoned. We know that he was shot to death by three troopers who then left Cloud to die.

But the problem is we didn't know who really is Zack Fair? Oh, sure, we can deduce that Zack was probably quite powerful, was probably something of a friend to Cloud, had Sephiroth's grudging respect, and...that's it. Any more attempts at figuring out who Zack Fair really is becomes a minute dissection of Cloud's character, trying to separate the "Cloud" from the "Zack" and without all of the story at hand and being handicapped by Cloud's less than reliable narration/memory, the exercise is one of futility.

Until Crisis Core.

Crisis Core gives us Zack Fair as he was, unclouded (no pun intended) by mistaken memories and unbiased by any other character's personal interactions. We see his story in full and can finally begin a meaningful analysis of who is Zack Fair. And the fans cried retcon.

Two biggest problems I have with this debate:

1. Genesis is a rip off of Sephiroth. His story screws with the original canon!

I'm a little confused and find it rather absurd that people are angry at the Genesis subplot. (Yes, yes, Genesis was introduce in Dirge of Cereberus, sometime before Crisis Core, but bear with me.) Crisis Core takes pains to make sure that none of the FFVII crew ever even learns of the existence of the Genesis project. The entire conflict is Zack's fight and Zack's only. Furthermore, Genesis' story actually fills in the holes for the FFVII story, such as explaining where the monsters came from. An actual in-game canon explanation for why you need to fight monsters (science experimentation gone horribly wrong) is actually rarely found. Usually you're just expected to accept that monsters exist, the end, go whack something.

Suddenly monsters and creatures you fight aren't just some canon fodder. No, they've become almost tragic; humans who underwent too much modification and lost their humanity and thus becoming nothing but mindless killing machines. And it also explains why Sephiroth gone off the deep end after finding out his origin. Normal people go into shock at finding out that they are monsters, Sephiroth makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy. (BTW, Sephiroth is still crazy and evil in FFVII, this does not excuse his fangirls/bois.)

2. Zack is too immature!

My brain boggles. First, this is almost always from people who played half the game, aka when Zack was sixteen. Let me rephrase that, Zack is sixteen. Of course he's immature! The entire story is about him growing up, so you see his immature side first. Second, Zack is still described as being "like a child" even during the Nibelheim mission. He was never that mature to begin with. So why is everyone convinced that somehow Zack should be the paragon of virtue?

Oh, that's right, fanon. See what happens when you make assumptions about characters you know nothing about?

Another, more minor problem, is people's decrying that Zack facing off an entire battalion of Shinra grunts goes against the original FFVII hidden cut scene canon.

*takes a deep, deep breath*

So, so many things wrong with this assumption. Thing the first, the secret cut scene is from Cloud's point of view, which is already established as being quite shoddy at this point in the story. Two, the reason he doesn't see the entire battalion of Shinra grunts that Zack fights against in the final battle is because...get this, he never saw it. He has some sort of memory of it according to ACC, but not a lot and certainly not much memory of how taxing the fight was. Lastly, due to the graphical limitation at the time, one can chalk up the change due to technology rather than story telling. If anything, Crisis Core is the more canonical version of this particular story than FFVII's hidden cut scene.

In fact, most would agree that the Crisis Core ending made this scene far more emotional and clarified a shit ton of confusion thanks to Advent Children, but that's another kettle.

I understand that it's difficult to accept new material from canon that goes against preconceived notions/pet theories, but you cannot simply ignore it when the original creators pretty much came out and said that this specific part of the FFVII canon (Crisis Core) was ten years in the making. They simply ran out of room in the original story to get the full backstory out, thus resorting to a prequel. This is not retcon, because nothing is actually being changed from what it originally was. You cannot use retcon as an excuse to disregard everything about canon that you hate. It just doesn't work that way.

On the other hand, you're totally free to interpret a character however you damn well like and write fanfiction about it. Just be prepared to be called out on OOCness.

Now that I've gotten that stuff out of the way, I can get to the actual meat of the rant:

Zack and Cloud were good friends. Whether you interpret this as something more than friends, platonic, romantic, fraternal, what the fuck ever, you cannot deny that Zack and Cloud were good friends. To deny that would be to deny the impact Zack had on Cloud and that's just wrong.

Yes, Zack had only two instances in Crisis Core where he interacted with Cloud (three if you count a minor interaction during cadet training). Yes, we don't see much of Zack and Cloud interacting outside of missions. However, one has to remember that Zack has a life outside of Cloud. I know it hurts your yaoi fangirl heart that Zack doesn't exist solely to cheer Cloud on and has problems and demons of his own, but that's the canon. Zack has his own unique problems, has his own fucking job in the Shinra military, and he's as much as his own person as Cloud is.

But on the other hand, you cannot simply dismiss the fact that the two had a deep bond. While Zack is very much earnest and caring, he's not the type of person who will risk life and limb for an infantry trooper if he doesn't have some emotional attachment to the guy. He's also not going to randomly entrust his mentor's sword to anyone he saves. These actions speak louder than any prolonged interaction and establishes that Zack does indeed value Cloud as a friend (if not something more).

Conversely, I did mention the ending to ACC, yes? If Zack was nothing more than someone who Cloud was assigned to work with, why in the world would he keep alive Zack's memory by bringing his flower into his office? Why would he continue to be a delivery boy? Why would he continue to think of Zack at his lowest points in life? Zack is important to Cloud on an emotional level and to dismiss his importance is ignorant and unfeeling.

And because I need to drive this point home, notice in the following screencap:

Notice how there is a very obvious, very yellow flower in the foreground? Pay attention to that, because here's another screencap from the very next scene:

Notice how it is the exact same flower that grows on Zack's grave?

What do you think this symbolizes?

And finally, why do you think that ACC, a story supposedly about Cloud gets the following as the final last scene?

Because as far as Cloud is concerned, the beginning and ending of his story is Zack Fair.

If this cannot convince you just how important Zack is to Cloud, then I don't know what can.

Mrphgrm

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 04:27:22 GMT

1049 / 50000 words. 2% done!

Yeah, not doing too well on my first day. ^^;

Also, no porn yet, am upset I haven't reached the fun stuff.

GIP

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:48:40 GMT

OTP!

Um, I have nothing more to say. Just wasted an entire day watching AMVs and being all "bawl, Zack x Cloud is so baaaaaaaaaaawl!"

Yeah. I fail at life.

(On that note, I'm beginning to realize that a lot of my OTPs involve one half of the pairing dying horribly. I'm an awful person.)

Edit:
Cashew plans to NaNo again this year. Clearly, she's crazy, as she's super behind on things and really shouldn't be having time to NaNo. WTF self?

Note to self:
Attempt this kink that seems semi-abandoned...

Perfect RPG

cashew.blog@gmail.com — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:39:16 GMT

Cashew's perfect RPG would be a blend of the following:

FFVII's battle customization
Kingdom of Loathing's self-referential humor
Guild Wars' party flexibility
GaiaOnline's avatar customization
Pokemon's inventory management
Every other online games' special event items
WoW's mounts/pet system
And CLAMP's art.
Oh, and Chocobos. Those are a must.

Story? What story? XD

Sadly, this will never happen. *sigh*

Dream Within a Dream

Pretty picture

Cashew's quick and dirty slash fic biology lesson

*giggle*

Kinda miss the 90s

Blah

I fail at life forever

16 hours and one fucked up dream later

Cannot summon up enough angry, but just...ugh

ROFL

Ugh, been a while with the health thingy

New Layout at pistachio

Master Fanfic List of DooooooooooM

*sigh*

More yappage

7.6k words and no porn

Just...glah

*giggle*

Dropped in to check PoT progress

@_@

WTF self?

I effing swear

Some more blatherings

Mrphgrm

GIP

Perfect RPG

giggle

sigh

giggle