List of things they NEVER tell you at the new student orientation:
- There are three things in college: grades, sleep, and a social life. You only have time for two.
- The administration secretly hates you.
- The class that you're trying to get in will always, without fail, boot you off the waitlist.
- Your schedule never works out the way you want it to.
- You will find on the first day of classes that you have back to back lecture and the two lectures takes place on opposite sides of the campus.
- You and your GSI/TA just don't get along.
- The office of registrar always over charges you for some fee that you've never even heard of.
- Sleep at midnight is an "early night".
- You always have two midterms/finals on the same day. And they're back to back.
- Your math homework will not write itself.
- Your computer will show the blue screen of death just as you're preparing to print that 20-paged dissertation and you've been up for four nights in a row so you forgot to save the final draft. Then you can't get your computer to restart.
- People in your class will either be dumber than you or smarter than you.
- Most of your scholarship/financial aid will be spent on textbooks.
- You will never read the textbooks again for the rest of your college career.
- You will never find out what ingredients went into the mystery meat, nor would you want to.
- The unfinished homework pile is always higher than the finished pile.
Feel free to add anymore. Let the bitterness flow.