Dream Within a Dream

First, I think I've seen my fair share of WTF pairings, but Legolas and Hephaestion? Really? o.O

Second, I'm a little sick of Hephaestion being portrayed as a needy, clingy, overly jealous, petty, and emo goth girl. I'm sorry, the second most powerful man of Babylon is not going to starve himself to death because Alexander is off fornicating with Bagoas. That's just not going to happen. He's also not going to be particularly torn up over having sex with other people that's not Alexander, considering that historically the two of 'em planned to have their children marry so as to produce an heir that is from both their bloodlines. (That has got to be the most complicated mpreg scenario ever.) Hell, Hephaestion was the one who helped make Alexander's marriage possible in the first place, he's not going to get randomly jealous of Alexander's bed partners.

Might I mention Hephaestion's wife was still mourning him even after Alexander died? Yeah, just pointing out that people can still behave in a civil manner even if they're not married to their one true love. (And what the hell is this one true love anyway? This is Ancient Greece we're talking about. =.=)

Third, Hephaestion does not feel like he's stuck in Alexander's shadow. Hell, half the time he's the one who's poking and prodding Alexander into continuing. He's the only one Alexander is willing to entrust half of his army so as to have a two pronged attack. He's the one Alexander chooses for the missions which have vague guidelines and needs someone who can make the same decisions as Alexander would. He's the one who's stuck with the diplomatic missions, because Alexander is an impatient little boy. >.> This is a man who could command Alexander's army as much as Alexander himself could. There is no overshadowing of any sort happening!

Fourth, I realize some of you hate Bagoas for getting in the way of Alexander/Hephaestion porn (hell, I do, too, to some extent), but that's no reason to make Alexander treat Bagoas like trash. He did keep Bagoas with him for the rest of his campaign, after all, he probably had some fondness for the boy. On the other hand, please don't make Bagoas into Alexander's confidante, that role belongs to Hephaestion. Bagoas was an interesting distraction, Hephaestion is the reason Alexander bothers to live. So seriously, less of this Alexander/Bagoas one true love crap, please. (And WTF is one true love in Ancient Greece anyway?)

Waiting is Hell

Watching Charon being chewed out by Hades and Alexander and Hephaestion being generic stubborn blockheads cracks me up. It's certainly a comedic take on a tragedy. And just think of the chaos Alexander is going to cause in the afterlife! The Underworld is soooo going to be conquered soon, especially now that he has the likes of Achilles and Herakles in his command! (And let's face it, if any of those Greek heroes are going to lead an army, it's going to have to be Alexander. :P)


On the Sunny Banks of the Cydnus

Alexander is a horrible patient, Hephaestion an exasperated nursemaid, and the Companion Cavalry looking for blood from a poor, poor physician. I'd try to explain why the story rocks but a quote from the story serves that purpose so much the better.

"He went for a swim!" howled one.

"He said it was hot!" bawled another.

"How can we go on without our Alexander! – " And the rest was jumbled in an anguished cacophony.

"You're not telling me anything useful!" Critodemus fumed.

XD