Dream Within a Dream

Because I hate having to slog through page after page after page of bad writing, I'm going to do you aspiring fanfic writers a favor and list the many pitfalls that you should avoid. Like a lot. And desperatly. While I do not think of myself as anywhere near a good writer, I would think that these points should be obvious but for whatever odd reason is not. So.

1. No one cares about your original character. No one. Nada. Zip. Zilch. If you're writing an original character, no one will give a damn about your fanfic. Stop writing original characters. Stoooooooooop.

2. More likely than not, your high school AU is going to be bad. Stop writing high school AUs. Stoooooooooop.

3. If you are describing the look of someone's outfit, you're doing it wrong.

4. If you're using slang, you're most likely doing it wrong.

5. If you need to use anything other than a paragraph for transition, then you're definitely doing it wrong.

6. World count does not matter. Ever. Stop counting.

7. Unless you've gotten an A in a college writing course without someone else proofreading your final paper, you will need a beta. Get one for the love of all things, get one! And said beta should have gotten an A in a college writing course without someone else proofreading their paper.

8. Just because you have a beta doesn't mean you can avoid proofreading your work. Self beta is still necessary, always.

9. If you did not research when writing, stop immediately and research. Else, the fanfic will either be horrible fail or horribly boring, or possibly both at the same time.

10. If you haven't read Dickens, Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Brontë, Dumas, Homer, Orwell, or equivalent writers, stop writing. Period. You are, however, excused from reading Conrad. Don't write like him, ever.

Those are my tips to new writers. Feel free to add your own.