Dream Within a Dream

Badly written porn makes Cashew cringe. Somethings to keep in mind:

1. If a dick is "painfully digging into [your] prostate", it's not going to be pleasurable. It also means you should go to the doctors' and get things checked out, because prostate stimulation shouldn't hurt (in general). And if you're trying for sadomasochism, fluffy is not the way to go about this.

2. Saliva is plenty enough lubrication to get one finger into the rimming action without damage to your partner, honest.

3. If your character is in a position where he's facing the bed with his ass up and getting the hell rimmed out of him by his lover, most likely the precome isn't going to be dripping down his cock toward his balls. Just...gravity people. Dribble some lube on your finger and position it around a bit and see where the liquid flows. (Obviously, if you're in zero-gravity, this dribbling issue is less of a dribbling and more of a stochastic flow, but since no one writes zero-gravity sex...)

You know, in general, it might be good for smut writers to have some dolls for whatever position they're trying to write, so they can keep the gravitational force clear, instead of this attempt at cut&pasting porn from other people. This is especially helpful for those who seem to have spatial visualization problems.

4. You cannot have "brows of sunshine". Actually, try avoiding metaphors as much as you can in a smut fic; all they do is serve to detract from the hotness.

5. The end of the spine is the tailbone a.k.a. coccyx, which is tucked away happily under enough fat to prevent damage when sitting on it. If your character is biting on it, I don't want to know about it. Also, gory much? (Try sitting back, feel the pressure between the upper end of the buttcheeks? That pressure's being supported by the coccyx, which is inside your body. Your lover should not be biting it during pleasurable sex.)

6. "No offense" in the middle of a smut fic is not right. Even more so when you were just talking about how your character has mastered all types of foreplay. Because seriously, no one's taking offense, the phrase is just...wut?

7. "That part of his body" is not particularly specific or helpful. If you can't even bring yourself to name the body part in question, don't write smut about it.

Yeah, I know, not all of these are biological fuck ups, but sometimes the bad porn just needs to go away. Gyah.

Buzzwords

The best part? Carbon and climate totally follow climatic trends.

Yes, I'm a nerd. >∇<

I totally know this is the nostalgia talking, but man I miss the 90s CPop. They actually had some content, with lyrics that meant something other than random propaganda or things that don't make sense.

Hey, there's a reason they're considered classic nowadays. :p

And...I should totally be working, right.

*slinks away*

I should be frantically reading papers. Instead I procrastinate and re-rendered the layout so it will enforce a minimum width for browsers less than 1024 pixels wide. (Who uses 800x600 resolutions anymore these days?)

One of these days, I'm going to have to grab a screencap of the layout on a 1920px width screen to give people a better idea of the layout I had in mind. :p

Glah, not feeling much better today. Still didn't get work done. Stress and lack of motivation plus feeling crappy does not productive Cashews make.

I need happy pills. >.>

*sigh*

Didn't make it into lab. Fell asleep after lunch and didn't wake up until 6:00pm. An almost entire day spent sleeping.

On one hand, feeling at least no longer like my head's been stuffed with cotton. On the other hand, even more behind than usual.

Oh, and my muscles have started hurting like nobody's business. Geh.

And then there's the dream. Good fucking beautiful sleep, the fucking dream.

( Disturbing stuff within. )

I hate that the Zack/Cloud fandom is tiny. Well, not tiny in the sense that there aren't writers, but tiny in the sense that there aren't enough decent writers to go around.

Because it's getting pretty annoying (and sad) when I'm randomly clicking FF links in the vain hope it's something readable. If the story isn't horribly OOC, then it runs the pretentious purple prose.

So, here's a few tips to remember for the writers who think they're all that:

1. Your first person narrative, it sucks. Live with it. If I see one more "I think therefore I am", I'm...I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty.

2. You fail to understand Zack. You just fail. I understand the man's under duress in your story, but that's no excuse for him being completely fucking depressing for eighty some odd chapters at this point. Cheer the fuck up emo writer.

3. Less attempts to build new worlds, more attempts to work with what you've got.

3-1. In fact, stop trying to add mythology while you're at it. This mystical shit doesn't do anything for your story.

4. Game play and story integration, you fail at it. Enough of your super-speshul whatever shit thing. Just work with what you've got and focus more on the characters, less on trying to explain how materia works, kthxbai.

5. Pick a personality for Cloud and stick with it please. Since Zack is alive, there's no good reason for Cloud to act like he has multiple personality disorder. If Zack's alive, Cloud doesn't go batshit insane, okay? This should not be hard to figure out, dammit.

Well, this does motivate me to try to write something more for Nano, but my brain's too numb and I'm too behind in work to really think past "must slice brains, must slice brains". Fucking...just...gah.

So, Tezuka and Sanada's granddads are shogi buddies!

I can't...breathe.

Oh god, owowowowowowowowowow.

Well, good to see that there's still some crack left in Konomi. On the other hand, this totally explains the Tezuka-Sanada duets that's been out.

Sluggish is an understatement for what I'm going through. My brain isn't working, I know I need to get a lot of things done, but I just...can't move very well. Even typing has been a trial.

I'm also suffering water retention, so I'm like...fat. And by fat, I mean I'm carry a bunch of water under the skin that's making me bloated and bloodless looking. My fingers have a difficult time making fists and when I bump into something, the skin just sort of sinks in, like an over bloated corpse.

TMI, sorry.

In short, ew, I feel like a walking corpse. *is so, so tired*

Put up a new Zombie Loan themed layout at pistachio. Enjoy?

*flails and dies*

(Why am I doing this? I know I should be studying, but I keep putting things off. T^T)

Edit:
After too many hours, Cashew has finally built up a Master List of all of her fanfic. It is daunting, but it has been done!

I don't know why I did it. =.=

What it says in the title. Yeah.

The Key:
WIP = work in progress (if very slowly)
On Hiatus = abandoned forever
Incomplete = self explanatory
Complete = self explanatory

( Index )

( Prince of Tennis - Warning: This one's scary and long )

( Bleach )

( Ouran High School Host Club )

( Everything else )

The problem with small fandoms is that once the series stops, so do the fics.

Just...gnrrrr.

On the other hand, that's what big fandoms are for, I guess.

Oh and yeah, Cashew should be filling out forms and basically freaking out, but she's fic hopping and trying to do kink memes for karma points, only she sucks at this stuff.

Is anyone willing to beta?

I'm seriously amazed at the amount of people who do not seem to understand the point of the DMW system in Crisis Core. I mean, I haven't even played the game and just reading the rants about DMW had given me a pretty good idea why it was included.

( Spoilers...I guess? )

Edit:
And to those proponents that say gameplay should be the only reason to play a game? RPGs are not for you, stop coming into them to bitch. If anything, in an RPG the gameplay is the least important aspect, with story, character, immersion, production value all trumping the gameplay. If you want gameplay for gameplay sake, then go play a sweet round of chess.

Edit2:
IGN described Zack and Aerith's relationship as platonic. My brain just broke. o.O

Cashew is getting desperate. This plot stuff is hurting Cashew's brain. Especially since she's trying to build a stupid time travel paradox and physics is pretty much kicking her ass.

This, people, is why Cashew is a biopsychologist. ;_;

I don't think I've recovered yet from two days of 2 hour road trips and trying to focus on molecular methodology and trying to adapt methodology to fit my research needs and mostly? Just coming off of the thyroid high and feeling like generic crap all the time. Good god, slept over 12 hours and I still don't feel rested, something is seriously wrong.

Anyway.

Clack.

*points up*

That is not a pairing name. That is a noise, onomatopoeia, whatever. That is not a pairing name, dammit.

Not that I have a good portmanteau for a pairing wherein both partners have one syllable names, but still no. Just no.

ZackCloud seem to work for the rest of fandom, so maybe we can stick to the simple stuff?

Okay, caught up with newest Tenipuri OVA "Another Story 2". Just...*giggles*

( Whoa, that was a lot of images, oops. )

Also, Rikkai stories have made me love Niou and his prankster ways. Niou's crazy. XD

Cheap, Konomi, just cheap.

On the other hand, MomoKai is apparently canon. Along with InuKai. And pretty much Kaidoh with everyone. Oh god, Kaidoh's the fandom bicycle. *facepalms*

Just...*flails*

Too tired, can't write, can't think, can't anything. @_@

According to wordle, my current NaNo project's word cloud looks like:



The pairing is Zack/Cloud.

*cries*

Why is this happening?!

Some people are fucking suicidal.

Dude, can you not take your evening run during fucking rush hour? Or better yet, move the evening run in the morning! And if you must run at night, how about wearing something that isn't black?!

Grar!

What is wrong with people these days?

Edit:

4008 / 50000 words. 8% done!
About 2.6k words behind. Glah.